No.5923
>>5922Seems those last two lines ended up wrongly.
No.5924
>>5922"What? The booze is almost gone?"
No.5925
>>5924>>5923"What?! Who drank the booze?"
No.5926
>>5923There will be time to look for my pants later
Toss aside the one I was wrestling, confident that his pants were in fact mine. This is a crime that WILL NOT STAND!
"WHERE WAS THE BOOZE LAST SEEN!?"
No.5927
>>5924>>5925>>5926The King looks among the revelers to see who spoke up.
"
You, the peons with the finest hearing, hear our decree! Find these lowly thieves and I shall reward you beyond your wildest dreams! Fail and you will spend the rest of your lives in the dungeons…" He bleats cruelly "
tended to by my terrible torturers!"
He points to 2 drakin who seemed like they just arrived and ordering a pint.
>>5926The capra booze wench speaks up.
"It was in the storage…"
She points to a door.
No.5928
>>5927KICK DOWN THAT DOOR
Then proceed to secure the remaining alcohol in my belly '1d10'
Roll #1 1 = 1 No.5929
>>5927"Oh no, please don't!"
I try to turn the door into my treant minion so it will move out of the way.
[1d10]
Roll #1 9 = 9 No.5930
>>5927>>5928"BOOOOOZE!"
Wave around my bear-head mug and charge down the door aswell!
'1d10'
Roll #1 7 = 7 No.5931
>>5930Soil kicks down that door like a pro.
Beyond it there's a vast cavern, barrels are stacked up to the ceiling, yet there seem to be only a few rows…the other racks are empty, stolen by the thieves.
>>5929You're too late, but the door turns into a treant when it's down, angrily rubs his frame and follows you.
>>5928You dutifully proceed to empty the first few barrels in your belly, securing them for all time.
But this is no ordinary beer….after the second barrel things become wavy and you start seeing pink dancing scantily clad capra of various genders dancing all around you.
You are now so drunk for the remainder of the quest that you're seeing things.
No.5932
>>5931I fill a mug from one of the barrels and start looking for clues.
[1d10]
Roll #1 7 = 7 No.5933
>>5931"BOOOOOOOZE!"
Look down the room, looking for the booze trail! All thieves leave a booze trail!
Roll #1 5 = 5 No.5934
>>5931"Fucken… ferpect."
Take a glance at those would-be torturers. Do they look tough? '1d10'
Roll #1 6 = 6 No.5935
>>5932>>5933A clue!
It's hard to make out between all the other pools of booze, but there's a trail here, leading deeper down the more wild part of the cave.
There's a big withered sign saying "
DAGNER!!!! Trespasser will be curtmarsheld!"
>>5934They don't look too tough at all.
A drakin girl and male, they seem to be sitting on one of the tables, trying to enjoy their drink while trying to ignore the baby myrmid cage fight going on next to them.
No.5936
>>5935I wave to the others.
"Follow me! We've got to find the thieves before Curtmarshal does!"
No.5937
>>5935Walk on over to the female as best I can
"Hey there scales~
Heard you're into torture. What say you and me go butt horns after we catch that there… booze thief?" '1d10'
Roll #1 4 = 4 No.5938
>>5935>>5936Slam right past that!
"Damn Courtmasheld!"
No.5939
>>5936>>5938The deep and dark cave beckons.
>>5937The girl looks away from you, clearly a sign of her deep arousal caused by your magnificent horns. The male gets up. "Pal, why don't you back off!"
He's clearly a bad guy, since he's got ants wearing top hats crawling all over him.
The multi-colored dwarfs watching the baby myrmid fight look up towards the three of you.
No.5941
>>5939Chop chop, shield first!
No.5942
>>5939Oh I ain't having no part of this well-dressed bullshit.
Before he can even consider starting shit, aim a Cheap Shot at whatever looks dangly and vulnerable on him to show my superiority as a a warrior and hero.
No.5943
>>5940>>5941You occasionaly find a pool of booze to guide your way as you venture into the forbidden cave of Curtmarshald.
But behold! An obstacle! There's a deep underground river flowing through this cave. And only an old wooden bridge to cross it.
Your door takes a look at it and shakes itself in a way that doesn't quite explain yes or no.
Roll to cross
if you dare!>>5942The girl shouts in barely contained excitement as you slam him across the table and knock him down.
But two other drakin quickly fly over from another to help him. "Wrong move, dirty goat!"
The multi-colored dwarfs start shouting
"200 on the capra" "100 on the drakin!"
No.5944
>>5943>>5940"Hey, got a plan. Gimme the door."
Extend a hand.
No.5945
>>5943"Come on, Woody!"
I use my door minion as a raft and float over.
[1d10]
Roll #1 3 = 3 No.5946
>>5943"YOU LOT WANNA SEE DIRTY?"
Point at my lack of pants
"FORM A LINE. THE GALLERY IS OPEN."
Toss my coin purse to the dwarfs
"FIFTY ON THEM." Even if I lose, I win. Genius.
Take up a fighting stance, and edge towards the booze storage door. Subtly. '1d10'
Roll #1 10 = 10 No.5947
>>5944I look at you from the water.
"What?"
No.5948
>>5947Jump down aswell, using my shield as raft.
"Needed a way to row."
No.5950
>>5949Shrug and row.
'1d10'
Roll #1 2 = 2 No.5951
>>5944Before you can enact your cunning plan, that capra boarded his door only to flip over in the middle of the water!
>>5945Woody takes none of this. And concocts a scheme of epic proportions. Once you're in the middle of the river, he flips over, you fall in the water…wait, this tastes a lot like beer.
Roll for drunk -2.
>>5946One of the drakin, who you only now notice is wearing drag waves his arm at you in an effiminate manner. "You couldn't handle me, baby." and then flips out a butterfly knife, while the other takes a battle stance, and his head starts growing alarmingly.
Despite all this, you ever so subtly move near the storage door and notice a rope next to it, holding a chandelier above the two drakin.
The drakin girl watches and you might be mistaken, but there could be a pool forming underneath her.
>>5950Wait a minute, you're not watching, you're rowing!
Man, this water tastes an awful lot like beer.
Roll for drunk-2
No.5952
>>5951"The beer is water!"
[roll 1d10-2]
No.5953
>>5951[1d10-2]
Roll #1 4 - 2 = 2 No.5954
>>5951BEEER?
'1d10-2'
>>5952"THE WATER IS BEER!"
Roll #1 6 - 2 = 4 No.5955
>>5951This can only end well
Try to release the rope '1d10'
Roll #1 7 = 7 No.5956
>>5953>>5954You both end up a little drunk.
Roll a 1d10 for reaching the other end of the river.
>>5955You quickly release the rope and the chandelier crashes on the drakin.
The multi-colored dwarfs cheer loudly.
The green elf on your shoulder congratulates you on your cunning victory.
No.5957
>>5956I will just drink this whole river.
'1d10'
Roll #1 10 = 10 No.5958
>>5956I keep swimming.
[1d10]
Roll #1 8 = 8 No.5959
>>5956Reconnaissance is the key to knowing your odds
-Shun Zoo
Sample the pool under the drakin. She may well have given away a clue to the true hiding place of the stolen alcohol! '1d10'
Roll #1 1 = 1 No.5960
>>5959You dip your hooves and have a taste of that..
You get slapped over the head.
You turn around to see another large bearded Drakin looking furious at you.
The girls face turns to fear.
"D-dad…what are you doing here ?!?"
>>5957You open your mouth and let liters and liters of booze flow within you, but alas even your tummy cannot hold all of this and you effortlessly make it to the other shore.
You burp as you reach the other side, a stench of unimaginable drunkness permeates the cavern.
Skill unlocked: Drunken Burp, recharge 2, burp a cloud of alcoholic gas at your enemy and cloud his mind for a turn allowing all hits on him next turn +2>>5958Effortlessly, you reach the next bank.
There's a tunnel parallel to the river leading upwards.
The stench of booze is strong there or that might just be Soil.
No.5961
>>5960"Wassup daddy?"
Extend my hand in a friendly gesture '1d10'
Roll #1 2 = 2 No.5962
>>5960Chuckle in my drunket stupor.
"Boooooze…"
Keep going!
No.5963
>>5960"Come on, Woody! Come on Gassy!"
Into the tunnel!
No.5964
>>5961A vein on his forehead throbs.
"You…you filthy beast…how dare you dishonor my daughter this way!"
"Daddy it isn't his fault…."
"Shut up, you ungrateful whore, I will deal with you later, me and your mother have worked tirelessly to provide you with a good home only for you to repay us by coming to this place of sin?!? And you…"
He turns to you.
"I will deal with you
personally"
He rips of his fancy clothes to reveal a mass of bulging muscles underneath.
>>5962>>5963You reach the end, where in the light of torches you see a capra cackling maniacally while he and 2 others pours the beer into the river.
No.5965
>>5964"You B-
OUUUUURP-ze thieves!"
Burp at them!
'1d10'
Roll #1 1 = 1 No.5966
>>5964"Stop right there! That's ours!"
I rush at them and start beating them with my club.
[1d10+1]
Door starts slamming them.
[1d10]
Roll #1 6 + 1 = 7 /
Roll #2 2 = 2 No.5967
>>5964I'd rip my pants off in retaliation but then, I'm not wearing any
"YOU HAVE NO HONOR, STRIKING A COMBATANT FROM BEHIND!"
Stand firm. '1d10'
And give the drakin lady a wink
Roll #1 9 = 9 No.5968
>>5965You are not yet familiar with your newfound burping skills and accidental burp yourself.
You fall down in a cloud of alcoholic gasses.
Soil is helpless!
>>5966You beat one with a club by surprise.
The cackling capra notices you.
"
Intruders, seize them! Brynmor shall not win! I shall drown all his beer and I shall rule the high mountain HAHAHAHAHAHA"
The door seems very nervous, he's never been into a fight before and remains back.
>>5967You
stand firmAnd despite herself the girl swoons at your wink.
"
Take this HEATHEN! I've fought far bigger than you!"
His massive arm, not unlike a greathammer, swings down towards your face.
Roll to dodge.
If you attack at the same time as dodging, if successful you will succeed, if not you will take double damage.
No.5969
>>5968"Come on, hic!, Woody Hit 'em hard!"
I keep swinging and Woody attacks too.
[1d10+1]
[1d10]
Roll #1 4 + 1 = 5 /
Roll #2 7 = 7 No.5970
>>5968Bushitto!
I can't be down for so little!
Slam them up!
'1d10+2'
Roll #1 1 + 2 = 3 No.5971
>>5968"It's not the size of the goat, but how you float!"
Evade his clumsy blow with my dashing agility '1d10+1'
Roll #1 7 + 1 = 8 No.5972
>>5969You get hit fairly hard on the head by one of the capra's clubs.
But the door finally finds his courage and slams the capra.
One is helpless, but 2 are still at large, including the cackling capra.
>>5970Wow, such drunk, you mistake a rock for the enemy and slam against it.
>>5971You evade like only a capra can.
"
Sit still, face your death like a man!"
No.5973
>>5972Not over yet!
With a silly smile, try to empty my drunkness.
Burp strongly at them.
'1d10'
Roll #1 7 = 7 No.5974
>>5972I'll headbutt the cackling capra.
"Stop wasting booze!"
[1d10+1]
Door keeps attacking.
[1d10]
Roll #1 4 + 1 = 5 /
Roll #2 7 = 7 No.5975
>>5972"Oh I will. When it comes in ten years or so."
Cheap Shot
Make him feel the power of my hooves '1d10'
Roll #1 2 = 2 No.5976
>>5973You unleash a cloud of alcohol on your targets
+2 to all hits against the 3 capra next turn.>>5974The cackling capra avoids your attack and hits you on the head with his staff
"
Fools, I control the power of MAGIC"
He raises his staff and starts speaking in tongues.
The doors slams the helpless capra in the river.
>>5975You deliver a quick right hoof right in his belly, but it is hard as lead. The drakin laughs and smashes you on the head with both hands.
"
Fool, I have fought legions like you!"
A crowd is forming, seems like the betting is in favor of the muscled drakin…
No.5977
>>5976SLAM THE CAPRA WHO JUST CALLED ME A FOOL!
"NO LITTLE THING CAN CALL ME A FOOL!"
Roll #1 8 + 4 = 12 No.5978
>>5976I headbutt him in the gut.
[1d10+3]
Door attacks his backdoor.
[1d10+1]
Roll #1 8 + 3 = 11 /
Roll #2 4 + 1 = 5 No.5979
>>5976"Yeah?
Well what about taking it up the tailhole from legions like me, huh?"
Suppress! Behold the alpha might of a capra on top!
'1d10+2'
Roll #1 4 + 2 = 6 No.5980
>>5978>>5977The capra finishes his dread incantation.
"
Now I control the power"
He grabs a torch
"
OF FIR-"
Then things go really quick.
Fleece grabs the remaining capra and tosses him right at the "mage" capra, tumbling them both down.
Then a shield roars down on them, slamming them off the edge into the opposite wall and tumbling down the river.
The booze is saved!
>>5979You jump up, grab his throat and use your momentum to swing him down the ground.
his muscles bulge and he shakes with rage…
"Now is your moment" says the green elf "become a legend."
The drakin shakes with rage, his shaking growing stronger every passing second you hold him in the headlock.
No.5981
>>5980Give him a little kiss
"Calm down big guy. You'd hate to look like a dummy in front of everyone."
Suplex this scaly mofo '1d10'
Roll #1 3 = 3 No.5982
>>5980"Hurray!"
>>5977I grab you.
"Let's get drunk!"
No.5983
>>5981Fuck he's heavy.
You cannot get him up.
His muscles flex and your hold on him weakens as he hits your body with a fury of fists.
You have him still, but not for much longer.
You look into the drakin girls eyes.
Do it, they say, do it for me!
>>5982So much booze, it will take many capra to bring this to the party, you should get some help.
No.5984
>>5980>>5982Roar in victory!
"Hell yeah!"
And to celebrate, pull out my bear-head mug and fill it in the stream of beer.
No.5985
>>5984"Cumon, muscles! We need to get the booze back to the party or we get tortured!"
I try to lift a barrel with Door's help.
[1d10]
Roll #1 1 = 1 No.5986
>>5983"Last chance to get out of this with honor intact pops. Lets butt heads, knock mugs and agree on our differences before I'm forced to do something we'll both regret!"
No.5987
>>5984>>5985Groan and do the smart thing.
REDIRECT THE BOOZE STREAM BACK THE WAY WE CAME!
Roll #1 1 = 1 No.5988
>>5985>>5987As you both get to work trying to bring the booze to the party in your own way, the ropes holding the barrels snap, tumbling all over you and falling with you into the river.
Hopelessly drunk, you are swept way by the river, but the small hole through which the water escapes out of the mountain is clogged up by the heap of barrels and redirects its stream, all of you and most of the barrels are hopelessly swept away towards…
>>5986His mucles swell and his eyes are bloodshot
"
No chance, lowly goat, now feel the wrath of-"
He stops as the ground starts to shake and the wall bursts to reveal a torrent of beer washing over the party, sweeping you all away in its endless rage.
Soon the beer subsides and a calm descends over the party. Drunken partygoers, the drags, the druggies, the whores, the girls, the guys all shake themselves and even the King shakily get up to see the hall in total chaos, barrels of beer between bodies everywhere!
Daring opens his eyes to see the dad of the girl thrown against one of the walls, unconcious and defeated.
But wait, what is this soft thing underneath him?
Why, it is the drakin girl, who looks at him with a smile that would melt any heart…
Fleece and Soil find themselves before the throne of the King who cheers loudly.
And soon the crowd cheers as well, because of these brave heroes, the booze was saved and the party can continue on into the night.
For their selfless heroics, both Fleece and Soil were made Count within the domain of King Brynmor.
And Daring as well, for providing such entertainment.
And so the party continued well into the next week.
How did our heroes enjoy the party?
Let's find out!
No.5989
>>5988"WOOOOOOO I CAN COUNT NOW!"
No.5990
>>5988Leo, I give it 10 purps out of 10 and 3 thumbs up.
>>5989"I STILL CAN'T BUT IT'S GREAT BOOZE!"
No.5991
>>5988Overconfidently, I plunge into the drakin lady
'1d10'
Roll #1 10 = 10 No.5992
>>5991You truly provide a shining example for the others.
It seems the lewd part of the party has just begun.
No.5993
>>5988Thanks for the quest.>>5991>>5988"PARTY!"
No.5994
THE END!
