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It is New Year in the High Mountain of Brynmor.
Fifty years ago when it was still just a mountain, a capra named Brynmor claimed this middle-sized mountain for his own and seceded from the larger Capra kingdom.
This incident got little more than a shrug from the other Capra as Brynmor was a nobody and nobody cared about the far-off mountain anyway.

In one of the larger caves of the mountain Brynmor settled his throne and built the Palace of Brynmor (he added a large amount of chairs and a fireplace and some mats) and ruled his populace consisting of a few birds and the occasional Capra passing by with an iron fist.
But there is one day capra and others come from far and wide to his Throne, because on New Years Eve, free liquor and beer flows like honey in his palace.

You have ventured from wherever to witness wether the fantastic, grotesque and lewd stories you've heard about this strange place are true.

You have entered the palace of Brynmor and the celebration is already in full swing. Capras, horks, humans and all kinds of creatures dance and eat merrily while Brynmor drinks on his wooden throne surrounded by wenches.
The stench of liquor is overwhelming and you occasionaly have to watch your step to avoid passed out revelers.
It seems you're early though, everyone still has their clothes on.

Suddenly a capra women barges through the hall and announces with a trembling voice.
"The booze! There's only 100 barrels left!"

Brynmor rouses from his pile of wenches.
"Impossible! We had five thousand barrels ready and more! Endless barrels! What have you done with them, scheming woman of little shame?"

"I didn't anything it's gone!"

"Then…this can only mean that a group of thieves most foul have taken my brew!"
He takes his wooden staff and puts his stone crown right.
"Citizens! Your King calls upon you. We have been bereft of that most precious to us! Obey your king and scour the countryside for these dastardly ruffians."

Most people ignore him and keep partying.
The Capra wench merely shakes her

It seems you're early


Seems those last two lines ended up wrongly.


"What? The booze is almost gone?"


"What?! Who drank the booze?"


There will be time to look for my pants later
Toss aside the one I was wrestling, confident that his pants were in fact mine. This is a crime that WILL NOT STAND!


The King looks among the revelers to see who spoke up.
"You, the peons with the finest hearing, hear our decree! Find these lowly thieves and I shall reward you beyond your wildest dreams! Fail and you will spend the rest of your lives in the dungeons…" He bleats cruelly "tended to by my terrible torturers!"
He points to 2 drakin who seemed like they just arrived and ordering a pint.

The capra booze wench speaks up.
"It was in the storage…"
She points to a door.


Then proceed to secure the remaining alcohol in my belly '1d10'

Roll #1 1 = 1


"Oh no, please don't!"
I try to turn the door into my treant minion so it will move out of the way.

Roll #1 9 = 9


Wave around my bear-head mug and charge down the door aswell!

Roll #1 7 = 7


Soil kicks down that door like a pro.
Beyond it there's a vast cavern, barrels are stacked up to the ceiling, yet there seem to be only a few rows…the other racks are empty, stolen by the thieves.

You're too late, but the door turns into a treant when it's down, angrily rubs his frame and follows you.

You dutifully proceed to empty the first few barrels in your belly, securing them for all time.
But this is no ordinary beer….after the second barrel things become wavy and you start seeing pink dancing scantily clad capra of various genders dancing all around you.
You are now so drunk for the remainder of the quest that you're seeing things.


I fill a mug from one of the barrels and start looking for clues.

Roll #1 7 = 7


Look down the room, looking for the booze trail! All thieves leave a booze trail!

Roll #1 5 = 5


"Fucken… ferpect."
Take a glance at those would-be torturers. Do they look tough? '1d10'

Roll #1 6 = 6


A clue!
It's hard to make out between all the other pools of booze, but there's a trail here, leading deeper down the more wild part of the cave.
There's a big withered sign saying "DAGNER!!!! Trespasser will be curtmarsheld!"

They don't look too tough at all.
A drakin girl and male, they seem to be sitting on one of the tables, trying to enjoy their drink while trying to ignore the baby myrmid cage fight going on next to them.


I wave to the others.
"Follow me! We've got to find the thieves before Curtmarshal does!"


Walk on over to the female as best I can
"Hey there scales~
Heard you're into torture. What say you and me go butt horns after we catch that there… booze thief?" '1d10'

Roll #1 4 = 4


Slam right past that!
"Damn Courtmasheld!"


The deep and dark cave beckons.

The girl looks away from you, clearly a sign of her deep arousal caused by your magnificent horns. The male gets up. "Pal, why don't you back off!"
He's clearly a bad guy, since he's got ants wearing top hats crawling all over him.
The multi-colored dwarfs watching the baby myrmid fight look up towards the three of you.


I go in.


Chop chop, shield first!


Oh I ain't having no part of this well-dressed bullshit.
Before he can even consider starting shit, aim a Cheap Shot at whatever looks dangly and vulnerable on him to show my superiority as a a warrior and hero.


You occasionaly find a pool of booze to guide your way as you venture into the forbidden cave of Curtmarshald.
But behold! An obstacle! There's a deep underground river flowing through this cave. And only an old wooden bridge to cross it.
Your door takes a look at it and shakes itself in a way that doesn't quite explain yes or no.
Roll to cross if you dare!

The girl shouts in barely contained excitement as you slam him across the table and knock him down.
But two other drakin quickly fly over from another to help him. "Wrong move, dirty goat!"

The multi-colored dwarfs start shouting
"200 on the capra" "100 on the drakin!"


"Hey, got a plan. Gimme the door."
Extend a hand.


"Come on, Woody!"
I use my door minion as a raft and float over.

Roll #1 3 = 3


Point at my lack of pants
Toss my coin purse to the dwarfs
"FIFTY ON THEM." Even if I lose, I win. Genius.
Take up a fighting stance, and edge towards the booze storage door. Subtly. '1d10'

Roll #1 10 = 10


I look at you from the water.


Jump down aswell, using my shield as raft.
"Needed a way to row."


"Use yer hands!"


Shrug and row.

Roll #1 2 = 2


Before you can enact your cunning plan, that capra boarded his door only to flip over in the middle of the water!

Woody takes none of this. And concocts a scheme of epic proportions. Once you're in the middle of the river, he flips over, you fall in the water…wait, this tastes a lot like beer.
Roll for drunk -2.

One of the drakin, who you only now notice is wearing drag waves his arm at you in an effiminate manner. "You couldn't handle me, baby." and then flips out a butterfly knife, while the other takes a battle stance, and his head starts growing alarmingly.
Despite all this, you ever so subtly move near the storage door and notice a rope next to it, holding a chandelier above the two drakin.
The drakin girl watches and you might be mistaken, but there could be a pool forming underneath her.

Wait a minute, you're not watching, you're rowing!
Man, this water tastes an awful lot like beer.
Roll for drunk-2


"The beer is water!"
[roll 1d10-2]



Roll #1 4 - 2 = 2



Roll #1 6 - 2 = 4


This can only end well
Try to release the rope '1d10'

Roll #1 7 = 7


You both end up a little drunk.
Roll a 1d10 for reaching the other end of the river.

You quickly release the rope and the chandelier crashes on the drakin.
The multi-colored dwarfs cheer loudly.
The green elf on your shoulder congratulates you on your cunning victory.


I will just drink this whole river.

Roll #1 10 = 10


I keep swimming.

Roll #1 8 = 8


Reconnaissance is the key to knowing your odds
-Shun Zoo
Sample the pool under the drakin. She may well have given away a clue to the true hiding place of the stolen alcohol! '1d10'

Roll #1 1 = 1


You dip your hooves and have a taste of that..
You get slapped over the head.
You turn around to see another large bearded Drakin looking furious at you.
The girls face turns to fear.
"D-dad…what are you doing here ?!?"

You open your mouth and let liters and liters of booze flow within you, but alas even your tummy cannot hold all of this and you effortlessly make it to the other shore.
You burp as you reach the other side, a stench of unimaginable drunkness permeates the cavern.

Skill unlocked: Drunken Burp, recharge 2, burp a cloud of alcoholic gas at your enemy and cloud his mind for a turn allowing all hits on him next turn +2

Effortlessly, you reach the next bank.
There's a tunnel parallel to the river leading upwards.
The stench of booze is strong there or that might just be Soil.


"Wassup daddy?"
Extend my hand in a friendly gesture '1d10'

Roll #1 2 = 2


Chuckle in my drunket stupor.
Keep going!


"Come on, Woody! Come on Gassy!"
Into the tunnel!


A vein on his forehead throbs.
"You…you filthy beast…how dare you dishonor my daughter this way!"
"Daddy it isn't his fault…."
"Shut up, you ungrateful whore, I will deal with you later, me and your mother have worked tirelessly to provide you with a good home only for you to repay us by coming to this place of sin?!? And you…"
He turns to you.
"I will deal with you personally"
He rips of his fancy clothes to reveal a mass of bulging muscles underneath.

You reach the end, where in the light of torches you see a capra cackling maniacally while he and 2 others pours the beer into the river.


"You B-OUUUUURP-ze thieves!"
Burp at them!

Roll #1 1 = 1


"Stop right there! That's ours!"
I rush at them and start beating them with my club.
Door starts slamming them.

Roll #1 6 + 1 = 7 / Roll #2 2 = 2


I'd rip my pants off in retaliation but then, I'm not wearing any
Stand firm. '1d10'
And give the drakin lady a wink

Roll #1 9 = 9


You are not yet familiar with your newfound burping skills and accidental burp yourself.
You fall down in a cloud of alcoholic gasses.
Soil is helpless!

You beat one with a club by surprise.
The cackling capra notices you.
"Intruders, seize them! Brynmor shall not win! I shall drown all his beer and I shall rule the high mountain HAHAHAHAHAHA"
The door seems very nervous, he's never been into a fight before and remains back.

You stand firm
And despite herself the girl swoons at your wink.
"Take this HEATHEN! I've fought far bigger than you!"
His massive arm, not unlike a greathammer, swings down towards your face.
Roll to dodge.
If you attack at the same time as dodging, if successful you will succeed, if not you will take double damage.


"Come on, hic!, Woody Hit 'em hard!"
I keep swinging and Woody attacks too.

Roll #1 4 + 1 = 5 / Roll #2 7 = 7


I can't be down for so little!
Slam them up!

Roll #1 1 + 2 = 3


"It's not the size of the goat, but how you float!"
Evade his clumsy blow with my dashing agility '1d10+1'

Roll #1 7 + 1 = 8


You get hit fairly hard on the head by one of the capra's clubs.
But the door finally finds his courage and slams the capra.
One is helpless, but 2 are still at large, including the cackling capra.

Wow, such drunk, you mistake a rock for the enemy and slam against it.

You evade like only a capra can.
"Sit still, face your death like a man!"


Not over yet!
With a silly smile, try to empty my drunkness.
Burp strongly at them.

Roll #1 7 = 7


I'll headbutt the cackling capra.
"Stop wasting booze!"
Door keeps attacking.

Roll #1 4 + 1 = 5 / Roll #2 7 = 7


"Oh I will. When it comes in ten years or so."
Cheap Shot
Make him feel the power of my hooves '1d10'

Roll #1 2 = 2


You unleash a cloud of alcohol on your targets
+2 to all hits against the 3 capra next turn.

The cackling capra avoids your attack and hits you on the head with his staff
"Fools, I control the power of MAGIC"
He raises his staff and starts speaking in tongues.
The doors slams the helpless capra in the river.

You deliver a quick right hoof right in his belly, but it is hard as lead. The drakin laughs and smashes you on the head with both hands.
"Fool, I have fought legions like you!"
A crowd is forming, seems like the betting is in favor of the muscled drakin…



Roll #1 8 + 4 = 12


I headbutt him in the gut.
Door attacks his backdoor.

Roll #1 8 + 3 = 11 / Roll #2 4 + 1 = 5


Well what about taking it up the tailhole from legions like me, huh?"
Suppress! Behold the alpha might of a capra on top!

Roll #1 4 + 2 = 6


The capra finishes his dread incantation.
"Now I control the power"
He grabs a torch
Then things go really quick.
Fleece grabs the remaining capra and tosses him right at the "mage" capra, tumbling them both down.
Then a shield roars down on them, slamming them off the edge into the opposite wall and tumbling down the river.
The booze is saved!

You jump up, grab his throat and use your momentum to swing him down the ground.
his muscles bulge and he shakes with rage…
"Now is your moment" says the green elf "become a legend."
The drakin shakes with rage, his shaking growing stronger every passing second you hold him in the headlock.


Give him a little kiss
"Calm down big guy. You'd hate to look like a dummy in front of everyone."
Suplex this scaly mofo '1d10'

Roll #1 3 = 3



I grab you.
"Let's get drunk!"


Fuck he's heavy.
You cannot get him up.
His muscles flex and your hold on him weakens as he hits your body with a fury of fists.
You have him still, but not for much longer.
You look into the drakin girls eyes.
Do it, they say, do it for me!

So much booze, it will take many capra to bring this to the party, you should get some help.


Roar in victory!
"Hell yeah!"
And to celebrate, pull out my bear-head mug and fill it in the stream of beer.


"Cumon, muscles! We need to get the booze back to the party or we get tortured!"
I try to lift a barrel with Door's help.

Roll #1 1 = 1


"Last chance to get out of this with honor intact pops. Lets butt heads, knock mugs and agree on our differences before I'm forced to do something we'll both regret!"


Groan and do the smart thing.

Roll #1 1 = 1


As you both get to work trying to bring the booze to the party in your own way, the ropes holding the barrels snap, tumbling all over you and falling with you into the river.
Hopelessly drunk, you are swept way by the river, but the small hole through which the water escapes out of the mountain is clogged up by the heap of barrels and redirects its stream, all of you and most of the barrels are hopelessly swept away towards…

His mucles swell and his eyes are bloodshot
"No chance, lowly goat, now feel the wrath of-"
He stops as the ground starts to shake and the wall bursts to reveal a torrent of beer washing over the party, sweeping you all away in its endless rage.

Soon the beer subsides and a calm descends over the party. Drunken partygoers, the drags, the druggies, the whores, the girls, the guys all shake themselves and even the King shakily get up to see the hall in total chaos, barrels of beer between bodies everywhere!

Daring opens his eyes to see the dad of the girl thrown against one of the walls, unconcious and defeated.
But wait, what is this soft thing underneath him?
Why, it is the drakin girl, who looks at him with a smile that would melt any heart…
Fleece and Soil find themselves before the throne of the King who cheers loudly.
And soon the crowd cheers as well, because of these brave heroes, the booze was saved and the party can continue on into the night.

For their selfless heroics, both Fleece and Soil were made Count within the domain of King Brynmor.
And Daring as well, for providing such entertainment.
And so the party continued well into the next week.
How did our heroes enjoy the party?
Let's find out!




Leo, I give it 10 purps out of 10 and 3 thumbs up.


Overconfidently, I plunge into the drakin lady

Roll #1 10 = 10


You truly provide a shining example for the others.
It seems the lewd part of the party has just begun.


Thanks for the quest.




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