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>spit the dirt out
You can't take a joke can you?
Rolling to pull Radiant's tail with a rootRolled 8 = 8
>hearing about the letter, chuckle and turn to the princess
"I'd kiss you if my group weren't leaving so early"
So you were going to do what next, exactly?
Check out the whorehouse?
Steal the key?
Ah, forgot to change name
Do you wish to save your princess or not, disagreeable one? And anyway, what better way to prove yourself a paragon of virtue than by entering what you see as filth?
The Gilded Teats is not far from the palace. You can tell it is the right place because the namesake is quite tastefully used as a sign by the door.
It sure is whores in here.
The interior is thick with smoke from hookahs and a soft background noise of murmured chatting and moans mixes nicely with the soft if upbeat music played by the orchestra.
It seems like a classy whorehouse at least. It even has a receptionist.
"Maybe we can find you a nice stallion in there, you obviously need to blow off some steam."
>wait outside, obviously I wasn't paying attention to who we were supposed to be looking for
"Yes, excuse me, Miss? We are looking for one known as Silverteats, for a matter dictated by the queen herself. Would you please direct us to him?"
I let the others take point and take in the atmosphere and musky smell of sex inside the brothel
"Silverthreads… huh~ Yeah I think he's here. Skinny guy? Long horn? Nice mane? Should be having a private show. That could be a while though. Why doncha take the load off while ya wait? I'm sure you could use a moment fer yerselves."
Starswirls is already smoking a hookah at a side table.
"May I see your menu? Do you have takeaway service? I have a friend who's too shy to come in."
Oh my, Unicornia-era indulgences experienced first hand?
Smoke a hookah with Starswirl and try to chat him up about magic and what he's seen in many futures.
>roll to decide whether to scan the outside of the building for possible escape-ways
Kinda smells like dick. You are not sure if you could go for some dick right now.
You chill out.
"I guess we can get someone, provided it aint off the property. What ya looking for? Stallion? Mare? Mare with a stallionface? Stallion dressed like a mare? Changeling?"
"You see, time… time isn't a stream. It is interconnecting points. Right now we are sitting here waiting for Silverthreads. See that waitress? She is about to trip and drop the drinks. The customer will get mad. He will leave. He wont be here next week. Next week a fight will break out. He will not be involved. He will go on to sire a child and from that bloodline will rise one who will build the entire city of Las Pegasus. Now imagine she delivered those drinks on time. He will be here. He will fight, and die, and poof, there goes an entire city.
And that's why we are here. To make sure Strife cannot mess up our future."
"I'll take a pretty mare to do the nervous cleric in the alleyway. I'll take a mare with a stallionface myself."
>To make sure Strife cannot mess up our future
And here we are in a whorehouse… Can you move us forward or something time mage?
So say there was a being that knew every possible event at exactly one point in time. Would that be enough to predict the future and everything beyond, if events are merely results of preceding events?
Also, ask him about heat dissipation with time. I want to improve my cold magics
Watch the cleric slip away but stay there.
Check my checklist of things to smite.
Ponder if I should add the Queen or not.
He gives you the blankest stare you've ever seen.
"Shit girl, no matter how many times I hear you say that it never stops being so damn weird. Look around you. You'd rather be thrown straight into it with Strife? Damn."
"Well I for one know every possible way this conversation can end, every way the backalley meeting our friends are enjoying can end, and so forth. I've seen them all, and tried them all. And of them all, this is the optimal one. Now go find yourself that nice gal behind the booths there. Silverthreads won't be long any more"
The Unicorns ask you to lie down and relax, then ask how sharp you'd like your horns.
"Whores, second floor.
Tarts on the left, strumpets on the right.
Courtesans at the back but those cost extra"
You reason she will be dead by the time you go home, so it might be a wasted effort.
"Not too sharp. Keep them just dull enough so that the ends won't chip when I ram something."
scan the area for a place to get a drink
all these well sculpted flanks are getting to meRolled 10 = 10
I don't even know the difference between those three, so I'll just go with the most expensive one
Draconequus: Ancient monster, said to rival minor gods in power. Often wield notable magic powers, though vastly different to those of ponies. Some, like the legendary Discord, were capable of shapeshifting. They draw strength from disharmony, infighting, chaos, confusion and grudges.
"Will do, snuggly. Just relax and let the pros do their work"
"I guess we should try to hold together… We don't want them to be more powerful than they are now…"
Sit down on my flanks and start to daydream about Celestia.
You head over to the salon and take a seat next to Tatanka
These courtesans are some of the most slender, beautiful ponies you have ever seen. Each like a statue dedicated to physical perfection.
There is also a rather muscular stallion there, similar in coat and mane to the princess. He has not noticed you enter.
"He thinks he is doing the best for Pegasuskind. He is not. He ignores the threat of Strife entirely, and would only lead his followers to doom if left uninterrupted. He does make really pretty cities though. So sad he had to be a soldier and not an architect"
The hookah is empty.
A pretty mare at the bar offers to buy you a drink.
You are interrupted by a bronze hued stallion
"The inside is much nicer than this back alley you know"
There are many to pick from. However the stallion is hogging quit a few.
"Yeah, light~ suuure~ Nice horn you got."
She winks at the bartender.
"Thanks to Strife the world that I knew is over. My nation lies in ruins and most everyone I know is either dead or mad. Starswirl promised me a chance for revenge. I was worried about working with you little ponies at first, but most of you aren't too bad."
"Oh I'm sorry I didn't realize you swung that way. My bad."
He turns to leave, head hanging low.
"Twigshins. A pleasure to meat you. Or a meat to pleasure you. Anyway you want it big guy."
Meanwhile, Starswirls is talking with Silverthreads, who finished his show long ago.
"Insult me one more time and I'll break every bone in your body! Just because not everyone is a cheap sellout whore, it doesn't mean… AAGH!"
Kick the wall of the brothel in frustration.
>take a mock sip without ingesting any more
"Th-thanks, really, however my desires lie on an open battlefield and I should get back to my group. The drink is much appreciated."Rolled 7 = 7
I see. I'm really just here for my own reasons, studying of magic and so on… Nothing as honourable as yours.
Wait till my hornjob is done and go out to meet Starswirl.
She leaves for a moment and returns with a young and rather inexperienced looking buffalo. She introduces herself as Big Honeypot and remarks that it is nice to see an actual buffalo for once, and not just some thrillseeker.
"Whoa hey, mixed signals there love. Lets try this again. I'm Copper Sands. You look like you could use some stress relief."
"I'm glad to finally see another buffalo too."
It's probably time to fade to black. I'll rejoin Starswirl when it's finished.
"If you think you can have me as another one of your prizes you can forget about it, and I'll get enough stress relief once I'm done with my business here and then go home."
"You talk like a silly person, but that isn't really a problem for me. How would you like it?"
Unicorn, or course. I'd like her to show me some magic, too, she had best be proficient and knowledgeable. Preferably with a nice stallionface.
>use cheap shot to slam the ponys face onto the table and start walking awayRolled 6 = 6
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I fall back on my haunches as my ears fall down and I mutter the name.
"This can't be happening."
The bouncer throws you out.
Starswirls and Silverthreads are waiting for you on the street. They went ahead and bought some fried carrots to snack on while they waited.
"I told you he'd be out soon."
"Starswirls, you are a cheater and a scoundrel and little more when it comes to bets."
Finish up with my enrich session of discussing magic with the pretty mare masseuse and go out to meet Starswirl.
Deciding that I've had my fun, I thank the mare for her services and make my way back downstairs to the reception. I see Starswirl and outside and meet up with him
"Good to see you enjoyed yourselves. I know I always do."
"Best avoid it. I won't go into the details but down the line your wife will never be born in that timeline."
"Now who are we missing hm hm hm…"
I smack my hoof on my forehead gasping
"The stallion inside must've been that Crown guy!"
I ignore the call of my sister as I still stare at myself and try to fit the pieces together.
As you mumble and writhe, you notice that you are being dragged away by your tail by Starswirls' magic
"If there is one thing in time that never seems to change it is your endless indecisiveness. Now hurry along, we have a spell to cast."
"When I do you call me a bush-bearded liarface heretic and storm off to mope. Not that the end result is different but this one is more amusing."
"This fine fellow is Silverthreads. He has developed a spell that grants earth and unicorn ponies wings for a few days. It is a bit unreliable, but enough to get us into Galeopolis."
"Which one was it this time?"
"He was bulky looking and had similar colors to the princess
I was too distracted by the local wildlife to approach him"
"You call this amusing? Does this amuse you, huh? If it does, you can go fuck yours- wait… you… you can help me save her! Once we're done here, you can alter time and let me save her!"
"Forget it, he's probably too busy with those mares anyway and I doubt he'll come willingly. I don't feel like dealing with any more royal snobs today."
"By now I should probably waste the time to give you a talk about how the past is not something to toy with for minor personal gain as every action risks a reaction that can echo on for centuries to come, but from what I remember you are too stubborn to take that as a real answer so I'll settle with "no"."
"If we are still in the correct timeline, certainly. Then again their whereabouts are a trivial point with no real changes to the flow of time in any way that affects anything important. If one was in there, the other is at the market."
"I correct myself, you can go fuck yourself where you stand. I hope my grief amuses you greatly. Let's just get done with your fucking task and send me back to my time so I can bring a flower to her grave. I hope you will find that amusing too."
"I and Silverthreads will go to his study to prep the spell. It is the tall house with the red tower on it.
If you didn't notice anything special back in the courtesan room, then that was probably Crown Jewels. That means Family Jewels is the one at the market. He should be easy enough to spot. Looks just like his brother, only his name is more fitting."
What better way than showing them the actual order to go home from mother dearest.
Well that just leaves the market team
Roll to look for Family Jewels.
Well he has the letter now and the two of you put on a very nice show so that's our job done. We should go to the building Starswirl mentioned.
I'm not looking for him.
I'm not working for that whore.
And I had enough with Starswirl and his task already.
"I am going to kill Strife with the Wrath of a Thousand Suns for Celestia. I'm not going to look for the stray puppy of a bitch who wants us to destroy a city."
You feel yourself translocate.
You are inside Silverstads' house. You all have wings. Even the buffalo has them, though his are rather small.
Starswirls looks unamused.
"Time, though endless, can still be wasted. Don't make me fast forward like that again"
You are now able to get to Galeopolis
"It is n-" Starswirls momentarily looks very confused and frightened, then shakes it off "Ahem. Time's a wasting. Onwards to Galeopolis."
He sheds his trademark robe and hat, replacing them with traditional pegasus clothes.
"Yes. That was an important step regarding the future. Now all we need is that helmet.
Galeopolis is a short flight away. I could teleport us there, but it is better to get used to these wings.
Is everypone ready?"
Starswirls gives every unicorn a hat to wear.
"Remember: no magic. We are going in undercover."
After a short while you get used to the magical wings and reach Galepolis. It is a mighty fortress-town built out of clouds. There are patrols flying around the perimeter and several guards at the main gates.
"Before we go in, we're not murdering him. I don't evel like the idea of stealing, but we don't have anything better."
My name is Dawn our lord commander send me to unicornia and im back with a important message.
"Are you insane? If anything, we should be killing this bastard, not the one who will be helping us out."
"The hell is there to see in that whore dump anyway?"
"Flying buffalo at least by the looks of it"
"Oh wow. And they said guard duty was boring"
"What IS the deal with that anyway?"
"Indeed, Dawn was it? What's the deal with the flying buffalo?"
I save him from the tyranny of the unicorns of course he is loyal to our commander now.
"Cool story pegasister"
"I was expecting it to be a circus act"
"Or a gift of some kind"
"Something like that"
"I'm sure the commander will be amused"
"Go on in you lot. Welcome back to Galeopolis"
You are inside the fortress.
This seems to be some kind of market area, with a barracks or two to the sides and the keep itself a bit further away.
"we won't. but i'm sure there are a few pegasi here that aren't liking their current commander"
"Why not? He seems like an cow-hearted bastard to me. What can we trade the helmet for?"
"Lets not get overheard around here. But personally I'd like to see if his helmet would be worth keeping"
A pegasus overhears
"How right you are. Bofors is a sack of cunts I wouldn't trust my garbage with."
Another butts in
"HEY! You shut your mouth about the commander, he is doing his best to save us from Discord. Certainly beats dying in a whorehouse like those Unicorns or being a slave to madness like the earthies."
A few more join in
"Running solves nothing!"
"YOUR FACE SOLVES NOTHING!"
"WELL HOW ABOUT I SLAP YOUR SHIT!"
"Say we kill platinum, how do we get out of the palace, and eventually the castle without succumbing to exhaustion from near endless fighting? how do we do that HERE as well?"
"If you are going to make a deal with this guy, I hope you lot will be using more tact whilst negotiating than when we talked to the princess."
"Huh, maybe we can spark a rebellion and let these featherbrains do the work for us."
I stand forward.
"CALM DOWN, YOU FOOLS! Do you want Discord to win? No? Then stop with this hatred at once and behave yourself like real soldiers!"
"I'm not a commander, I just want Ponykind and Pegasi to survive! If your foolish disputes help to empower Discord and Strife, our kind will go extinct. Do you want that? Do you?!"
"Should we use the riot as a distraction to sneak a thief into the keep, or try to spark a fullblown revolution?'
"THE ONLY THING HERE KILLING US IS YOUR FACE!"
A black and grey pegasus gives you a very angry look
"UNICORNS? WHERE!? DECADENT BASTARDS THE LOT OF THEM! LAYING DOWN TO DIE AND NOT EVEN TRYING TO FIND A SOLUTION!"
"Can we please just go murder this idiot leader and get out of here? Pegasi give me worse headaches than Radiant."
I miss word of power now
Are you all drunk?
Can you not see how grave the situation of Pegasi and Ponykind is?
"COULD BE ANY OF US! COULD BE ALL OF US! COULD BE THAT WORTHLESS COMMANDER WHO MURDERED OLD HURRICANE"
"Let's just calm down and get to the keep. We can solve our problem when we get there."
HURRICANE WAS MURDERED!
The crowd descends into madness as several guards fly from the keep to break it up.
You arrive at the keep. There are no guards at the gates as they are breaking up the riot at the market.
I follow the rest
"We should kill Bofors, he obviously doesn't know how to run a city. Dawn could replace him! Think of the possibilities!"
"THEY'RE GOING TO SILENCE US! USE THEIR WHORISH MAGIC TO KEEP US QUIET AND SUBMIT TO THE UNICORNS!"
"Pfffff, we should still dispose of him and replace him with someone who is willing to fight instead of run."
There is a lot of commotion coming from higher up in the keep. You can see three paths. One leads to the upper floors, one to the other parts of this floor and the last deeper down into the base cloud.
The riot is getting a bit out of hand as more and more guards fly in to beat down the angry hordes.
Roll to not get attacked.
"LOOK AT THEIR NUMBERS! SOME COULD BE BRAINWASHED! OTHERS COULD BE UNICORN! KNOCK THEM DOWN BEFORE WE GET OVERWHELMED!"Rolled 5 = 5
>if i'm not down, roll to inspire these rioting pegasi
"COME MY UNICORN BRETHREN! FIGHT ON! FIGHT! ON!"Rolled 5 = 5
"You're going to have to be damn sneaky to that off. If he's wearing that helmet, I'd like to see how you'll pull that off"
You flash the guards a quick "problem, officer?". They ignore you for now.
You see more guards launch out the windows to fight the chaos down at the market. It seems this second floor was mostly sleeping quarters. There might be an armoury too if you look for one. By the layout you determine the officer quarters are one level above.
"I was shoving my way through to get one of my shoes fixed! You look pretty scuffed up yourself, how bout you an' me cool off with some drinks after this? My bill. OH HEY WATCHOUT!"Rolled 10 = 10
>"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON OUT THERE?"
>"Looks like a riot, Commander."
>"A RIOT OVER WHAT?"
>"Commander Hurricane it seems. Or unicorns."
>"WHAT THE FEATHER IS WRONG WITH THESE PONIES, SERIOUSLY?"
>"We share your frustration, but this is not the time for that"
>"We should prepare Galeopolis to move out as soon as possible"
>"The weapons bay is more or less good to go, all we need is a final test run"
>"FINE. THEN DO IT."
in and use my hoof to raise my shield to protect the pegasus guard from
the quickly outbreaking rioteers' flailing attacksRolled 2 = 2
Sorry for disappearing like that. My computer fucked up pretty bad but I think I have it fixed now. I assume I'm still with Radiant and Dawn?
He can fly and he is a prisioner of the unicorns after his liberation he told us about princess platinum evil scheme.
"Mighty kind of you, stranger. I'm called Windsock by the way"
"More so than any other pony has cared. After all, with these new designs we can easily move our cities to safety in times of need. Pegasi will never again need to fear the poisonous presence of Discord.
Now. BUFFALO. HOW."
"And do you think Pegasi will be able to survive without the food the earth ponies grow? If you abandon Equestria, you will doom us all!"
"Aether Node, but Aenoi for short.
Now how about we get outta here before our shit gets kicked even worse?"
"Hunt? We are herbivores. And we are no simple savages like earth ponies who can live on seeds and berries… And even if we were, we couldn't feed every single pegasi! I ask you to reconsider this! Discords wants this! We must stand united and defeat him, like how we defeated the Wyndigoes!"
"Horseapples. This thing belonged to pegasi commanders long before our alliance with Unicorns."
Exactly! But the princess whore curse your helmet since the days of commander Hurricane.
"Walking is stilted until I get my shoe fixed. Tell you what, I'll get your first 3 drinks in case I take too long. Where you get your fix?
Break cover on 3?"
>show him my jeweled crown
I stole this from the princess herself mylord.
I over hear the whole plan.
"The commander will have my balls for this but to be honest I'd prefer the drinks over the riot. I know a tavern on the other side of the market"
"We save what life we can. Losses are acceptable if they enable us to save others."
"On three then! 1…
>make a run away from the riot and follow Windsock to the tevern. paying for the first 3 rounds
Wait… That doesn't look like-HURK
Your blade finds its mark with ease. The commander id dead before you can even pull it out.
The others three officers in the room attack you.
Roll for initiative.
Sentry means I automatically win the initiative. I Slam the nearest officer.Rolled 9 = 9
I told them I won't partake in sensless bloodshed.
I only defend myself if they attack me, but do not counter-attack.Rolled 1 = 1
"Well you did save my head back there…"
Your massive mass tosses the relatively tiny officer aside, and he slams into a rather cushiony cloud wall. He is dazed, but not helpless quite yet.
You pop out of sight and strike the dazed officer, rendering him helpless.
As you stand there, one of the officers strikes you with a power attack from their warhammer. The Sun Pendant activates to protect you from harm.
You scrape the cheek of the third officer, but nothing more.
Jump at the pegasus who just got knocked against the wall and stab him with daggerRolled 5 = 5
I'll charge my spear with my smash or bash or whatwasit and strike the nearest opponent.Rolled 2 = 2
I slam him again.
Doesn't my superheavy armor mean that should have been a crit?Rolled 9 = 9
>Look around before leaning in and whispering
"I'm one of many agents sent out to 'encourage' the three races and any other races to unite and build a bond of trust and understanding.
I'm also from the future"
>roll for believabilityRolled 8 = 8
Though helpless, he still manages to roll out of the way in time
Only to get killed by Groves.
Radiant evades another attack from the officer, and Yvonne leaps in to wound him.
Then Tatanka smashes into the wounded one like a freight train, splintering bones and sending him flying as he is rendered helpless.
One officer is dead
One is helpless
The last is scraped but nothing more
"You did have this… strange feel about you. You know what, I think I believe you.
So what do you intend to do now?"
"It saddens me it has come to this… This didn't need to happen!"
I still don't attack anyone.Rolled 7 = 7
You lean over the helpless officer, close his eyes and kiss him goodnight, then pull your blade across his throat, severing the entire head.
Yvonne then sinks her spear deep into the final officer, who staggers heavily and falls over, helpless and horribly wounded.
Starswirls, who has spent the time drawing little doodles in the cloud walls, quickly lifts the last officer in the air and snaps his neck with a half hearted thought.
"Watching this fight is always so tiresome. Save for the buffalo charges. Like pinball. Heh. I think it is time we leave now"
"Rank will mean nothing when they see armies at your command. Have a strong heart, firm wings, and don't forget to look up every now and then. You'll lead our people to prosperity."
>roll for motivation on the guy, he has a long road ahead of him
does liquid courage help my roll? I hope soRolled 5 = 5
I advance on him
"ASSASINATION? BACKSTABING? MURDER? YOU KNOW NOTHING OF HONOUR!"
"Kind words. If luck does ever give me a shot at being Commander, I will certainly take it. Thanks, friend from the future."
"Every time in such a hurry Goldentail. Every time. We can leave if there is nothing more you need from here."
"That's the way of war. You have your style of battle, I have mine. I had an agreement and I followed up on it, doesn't matter how I did it."
"I have to get going."
>drop bag of coins
"ANOTHER ONE FOR MY FRIEND HERE! AND ALL THE GUARDS WHO QUELLED THE RIOT"
>then leave to outside the city and wait for the rest of the party
>check the nature of the riot
Okay night guys, I've gotta go
I attack the baddies if I need to
I want a fancier spear if we get any loot
I might be able to run a quest tomorrow (today, Saturday) in case DM can't
With everything done, Starswirls charges up a mass teleport and returns you to the Unicopia palace.
He says you had best settle your personal disputes before meeting the princess again, then proceeds to go clean his ears with a cotton swab.
"I'm not going to breathe the same air as that whore again, especially after what happened up there. I'm staying out here."
"You learn a lot from watching Dawn and Radiant when they fight. Good to see YOU'RE still kicking, even better that you're almost scratchless"
The princess is looking out her window at Canterlot Castle.
There is not a hint of the enjoyment of life or upbeat optimism she had before.
"Canterlot. How I miss it. It, like me, used to be important and beautiful. Now it, like me, is just another one of Discord's twisted mockeries…"
She turns to you, her eyes red and her posture poor.
"Starswirls. I see you have the proof I asked for. Good. Perhaps this trinket will bring me some peace.
They key is in the armoury. Show them my seal and the guards will let you in. Take anything. It no longer matters to me. I'll also send word to the mages you picked out earlier.
I wish you good luck, even though I can guess you believe in no such things."
"I mean you no harm princess, but you look like you need some healing"
>cast detect evil on the princessRolled 3 = 3
The royal armories of Princess Platinum are stocked with rare and exotic things. The Key of Tartarus is kept in a separate locked safe one of the guards opens for you.
You can probably find almost anything you want in here.
I look for something that will make my armor less cumbersome with sacrificing its protective qualities.
I look for something that will make my armor less cumbersome without sacrificing its protective qualities.
"My efforts could not help, my apologies Princess. I'll be heading towards the rest of my party's location."
>grab a voulge for the wildguard, they might want something to slash as well as stab with
You find a finely crafted armour of Ironbark. It is lighter than it looks, but every bit as strong as your current set.
You find a fine jeweled one. It has a gem on it which turns the blade ethereal when touched.
You find a large bottle shaped like a coiled snake. The poison inside smells very potent.
Starswirls is done playing hopscotch with a mouse he found and greets you.
"Well met. I've taken the liberty to inform our soon to be allies of our next venture. Now I suggest you rest, as our next goal lies within Tartarus itself."
NEXT TIME ON MLPGDND: TIMEWARDEN: HELLGATE EQUESTRIA
>hit me with some reviews.
some of the back and forth was tedious. it helped and spurred more interaction, but was tedious
It was ****>fun
I barely have any experience with RPing but I very much enjoyed myself. Things went a bit slow at times though, but that's okay.
I got an unexpected >feel from this quest.
I think I managed to be useless.
Starswirls is best NPC yet, hands down.
It was nice to have a quest that is less combat oriented sometimes.
It would have been great if we solved everything diplomatically correct.
But really, do you think I managed to do that RP goal so far?
Next quest when?
Welp, seems I've already reached the peak formula then.
Gonna keep that for future games.
Odds of a game tomorrow(today): low
>odds of game tomorrow(today): low
I won't be able to come if there is one. LAN party and all.
>I had to come home to my parents to ask for money
>even my brother will come home
>I don't live with them anymore but they still go all crazy-parent mode when I do come home and frown when I stay up late
BUT FUCK ME IF I'M NOT GOING TO DISSAPOINT THEM AND QUEST AND STAY UP LATE AND SLEEP ALL DAY AND ARGUE WITH THEM ABOUT IT!
AND IT WILL ALL BE WORTH IT!